A love letter to Barnes

The best place to live in all the land. Plus - trainers, a bargain trench, bowling, The Last Laugh and The Fat Goose!

The Times released its annual Best Places to Live report last week and guess where came out on top? Norwich.

Ummm…

Now, I’ve never been to Norwich and I’m sure it’s very nice, despite having a terrible name. But whoever compiled this list has made a massive mistake, because obviously – glaringly obviously – the best place to live in the UK is Barnes.

I don’t say that flippantly. And most residents don’t say it at all, in case people want to move here and push the prices up even more.

Stanley Tucci lives here, for starters. Those steamy cooking videos he does? Shot from his lovely Barnes house after a little trip to the local Farmer’s Market.

That Farmer’s Market is in the car park of the doctor’s surgery, by the way, which doesn’t sound like much, but have you been to Essex House Surgery? It’s got all the architectural bones of a Soho House. You could be forgiven for going in and ordering a Paloma instead of the prescription for your Sertraline.