It’s been a while, hasn’t it? Sorry about that. I’ve got my reasons – but I won’t bore you with them. I’ve been trying and trying to write my newsletter intro – but each time it just wasn’t quite right. Finally, I’ve decided to share with you a list of all the things I nearly wrote about. After all, don’t most of us have two-second attention spans these days anyway? I certainly do.
Plans for my face when I turn 50. Started writing this enthusiastically after looking in my mum’s terrifying magnifying mirror then decided against it as it felt very un-zeitgeisty to talk about how much I don’t want my wrinkles to ‘tell a story’ and increasingly want my story to revolve around great botox.
How I’m finding social media increasingly weird. I’ve started to go on Instagram and think…why am I here?! Why am I posting photos to people I barely know and why am I actively thinking about getting a good pic ‘for Insta’ when I should just be enjoying the moment? It’s all just very odd. I abandoned this idea because it felt too zeitgeisty and obvious.
The best and worst things about living alone (or at least, without a partner). Then Poorna Bell did this way better than I could have, so I gave up.
What do our dreams mean? Prompted by a recent dream I had about a spider that grew and grew until it was basically a human in a spider fancy dress costume that hung out with me on the sofa. Decided against this as nobody really wants to hear about other peoples’ dreams, do they?
Why I genuinely think housework is triggering for me. I have a literal fear of domesticity. Getting stressed about ‘the state of the kitchen’ or ‘putting a wash on’….all of it absolutely brings me out in hives. Ditched this idea but now I don’t know why as I’d actually quite like to dig into it a bit.
How I’ve realised I actively want to be single (for now). Couldn’t decide if this was entirely authentic, despite it feeling true, so I stopped writing. Would I really turn down the perfect man if he showed up on my doorstep? Probably not. Enjoyed this article about the rise of perma-singles though - especially as it featured former Nesting guest Marianne Power.
A list of all the things that happen in my house pre 9am. Started this one after a particularly intense morning in which I dropped all my bank cards down the toilet, got a parking ticket and nearly flooded my house - all before I’d changed out of my pjs. Read it back and I just sounded crazed and angry. Not good.
So there you have it, all the things I didn’t write. But now I sort of have. Do any of them resonate? Let me know!
HOME COMFORTS WITH… PANDORA SYKES
I first fell in love with Pandora when she was co-presenting the podcast The High Low alongside Dolly Alderton (they plugged my book Bolder in one episode which pretty much made my life). Now I love her for her podcast Unreal: A Critical History of Reality TV, her essay collection essay collection How Do We Know We’re Doing It Right? – and lots more, not to mention her Substack newsletter Books & Bits.
Where do you live and how would you describe your home in three words?
I live in North West London with my three children and my cat, Indi. I would describe my home as creative, warm and personal.
Best home comfort meal?
Gnocchi with brown butter, sage and squash. Or my husband's spag bol.
Best section of the Sunday papers?
Sunday Times Relative Values, Sunday Times Style mag's agony aunt slot with Dolly Alderton, The Observer's agony aunt slot with Philippa Perry (notice a theme?) and the interviews in The Saturday Times mag.
Book currently on your bedside table?
So many. Newly, four of Jilly Cooper's books from the 70s - the first ones she wrote before she got into her bonkbusters: Octavia, Prudence, Imogen, Emily.
Background noise in your house?
The white noise machine from my baby's room, the sound of Friends from the kitchen (it's my husband's audio comfort blanket), the Tonie box playing from my older kids room (my daughter's current fave is the Malory Towers one.) And as it's London, there's usually some sort of builder or road maintenance or rubbish collection man banging away outside.
Bath or shower?
Shower for efficiency, bath for relaxing and muscular relief. I'm hypermobile and always sore somewhere, so my saviour is Elemis Muscle soak or, if I'm being prudent, Radox bath salts. Typically one of my children will hear me in the bath, whip off their clothes and jump in. I feel like Mrs Large from Five Minutes’ Peace.
Favourite house scent?
I love any fig-scented candles, and my melagrano-scented terracotta pomegranate from Santa Maria Novello. It more often than not smells of fish at the moment though as we're constantly pureeing meals for the baby and he's an absolute fishmonger.
My garden is....
Not my finest work, but relatively green.
How well do you know your next door neighbours?
We adore our neighbours but they are about to move. I have not forgiven them.
Your favourite home from home?
My childhood home, where my parents still live, or St Mawes, in Cornwall.
Subscribe to Pandora’s newsletter here.
CLOTHES STUFF
Varley clothes
Despite my social media wobble, I have to admit that Instagram knows me better than I know myself at this point – and I suppose I have to thank it for waving Varley images in front of my face for a few weeks until I finally took notice. Some might call it ‘luxe athleisure.’ I’m a lot more ‘leisure’ than ‘ath’ but their puffer coats and sweaters make it look like you could in theory be on your way to the gym – a look which I am not averse to at all. This half zip pullover is apparently their most popular piece.
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Bargain cosy knit
Thanks to Angie’s Edit for directing me to this very reasonably priced and altogether lovely jumper from M&S. It’s £22.50 and just look at those pleasingly flompy sleeves - go, go, go!
TV STUFF
Expats (Amazon Prime)
Am I enjoying this because I was once a Hong Kong expat myself or because it’s genuinely good? Probably a bit of both. Nicole Kidman is playing exactly the same woman she played in Big Little Lies as far as I can tell (sad, rich, mysterious) and there’s the same sort of feel to the whole show. Beautifully shot, a little bit dark. I’m only one episode in and I’m told it gets better.
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Gladiators (BBC)
‘Gladiator…ready?’ Turns out we are. I’ve been wondering when this was going to make a comeback - especially considering Gen Z’s obsession with fitness. And it doesn’t disappoint (apart from the hosts - who really do). I’m partial to a bit of the rather dashing Steel already. And here’s a treat- a roundup of what the old Gladiators are up to now.
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Saltburn (Amazon Prime)
Lord above, this was not what I was expecting, but in a good way. I think it’s the first film that has held my full attention in years. It’s very rude (the bath scene will live on in my memory for longer than I would like..!) and it’s very dark but the characters are so interesting and believable. The very wealthy mother played by Rosamund Pike is genius ('“she’ll do anything for attention,” she says of her friend, who has just died).
HOME STUFF
Samsung Projector
I don’t have room for a TV in my bedroom – nor do I want to attach a huge screen to the wall as I feel it’ll disturb the zen vibes. But then I read one of The Times columnists waxing lyrical about how they use this projector instead (can’t for the life of me find the article again) and instantly wanted one. You just put it on any flat surface and it turns your wall into a Smart TV. How has this not made TVs obsolete?
BOOK STUFF
Good Material
I thought I wasn’t going to like this as it’s a story of heartbreak told from a male perspective, and as such I thought I wouldn’t be able to relate - but I was wrong. I’m loving it - and I think you might too.
OTHER STUFF
Glucose Goddess
I was recently diagnosed with gestational diabetes and have been watching my diet like a (hungry, pizza-craving) hawk. Someone told me to follow a French biochemist who goes by the name of Glucose Goddess on Instagram for tips and I wish I’d known about her even before the diagnosis, as frankly, I should have been aware of some of this stuff anyway.
And with that, I must be off to savour my rationed two squares of dark chocolate. Bon appétit!
Dx
Who is Dominique Afacan?
A very good question. Dominique (that’s me) is a writer, solo mum and sausage dog slave based in London. The idea for the Nesting newsletter came about because after ten years of flitting around the world as a travel journalist, I wanted to share my new-found excitement about hanging out at home. I am also the author of Bolder – Life lessons from people older and wiser than you – a great Christmas present, if I don’t say so myself – and available to buy here.
P.S The illustration for Nesting was created by my exceptionally talented friend Julia Murray in New Zealand.
Agree with you about instagram and man are your dreams weird!