Are we allowed to admit it when Instagram IS actually as good as reality?
Or are we only allowed to be real about the bad stuff? Plus, Anne Kadet's Brooklyn home, and how to buy a kid's bike.
Do you know what we don’t talk about enough? No, not the menopause and not mental health – because I feel at this point we talk about them both quite a lot. And not about how we’re all addicted to our phones and social media, because… zzzz.
No, do you know what we don’t talk about enough? How sometimes, sometimes an Instagram pic is actually a true reflection of a good bloody time. And I think we should applaud it, because if we’re now all allowed to sob openly for a reel and be praised for it (not by me I’m afraid, but lots of people seem to think it’s brave), then why the hell shouldn’t we talk about it when we feel happy?
God, life is short and stressful. Let’s shout about it when we have a good day, no?
This was the case on Sunday when I went to my friend Sally’s house and had the most relaxing, enjoyable time of the sort that happens increasingly rarely, at least not so completely, when everybody seems to be on the same frequency and life just feels ‘lifey’ in all the right ways.
It was a last minute thing, and I had raging pmt. I was late, because I’d been swimming with the kids that morning and we all needed a nap. So I turned up with sleeping creases down my face and half a bottle of wine that I’d opened the night before.
It didn’t matter. The sun was shining, the kids played, we ate well, we drank just the right amount and we talked about everything. I captioned the group pic of us ‘last of the summer wine?’ and perhaps that was it – the feeling that September was here, and the holidays were over. Whatever it was, I went home feeling happy and lucky and I wanted to share it.
I know Instagram is often a shit show of fakeness and that’s why Celeste Barber exists. In fact, we talked about that over lunch. But sometimes, a post isn’t a performance – it’s just that we want to capture a moment in time when everything felt like it would be ok. And is that really such a terrible thing?
BIKE STUFF
I tried to buy my four-year-old a bike this weekend. My God it was stressful. My first mistake was going to Halfords which was like a ghost town filled with engine oil and roof racks and not very many bikes – or staff members. We waited a full hour only to be told that they were display only and we’d have to order online. What’s the bloody point of that?
Anyway. I mentioned it to my Dad and he took over. He loves nothing more than an admin project. Honestly, he’s like a walking Which? magazine, he just can’t help himself. He came back with this top three. If you aren’t willing to pay £400 for a Frog (!!!) these are your best bet.
The Btwin - This is the one we went for. So far, so good.
Halfords Carrera Cosmos - If you can bear to go to Halfords. I couldn’t go again.
Ridgeback MX16 - Beware, you’ll have to build it yourself.
HOME COMFORTS WITH… ANNE KADET
I met Anne in my former life at a Silicon Valley tech start-up (yes, really). She’s a Brooklyn-based journalist who also writes a best-selling Substack newsletter about New York life, profiling some of the most unusual and fascinating folks she meets on the streets and beyond. Thanks for letting us snoop around your home, Anne!
Where do you live and how long have you lived there for?
I live in Brooklyn Heights, which is sort of the Upper East Side of Brooklyn – lots of oldsters parading about in khakis and button-downs, lots of lawyers, a surfeit of little white dogs. I cannot afford to live in this neighbourhood, and yet I do! My actual living space is a 600-square-foot co-op in a 1950s apartment building. I moved here in 2017.
How did you find your home?
I was looking for a one-bedroom co-op for $300,000 in Brooklyn Heights. This is a non-existent phenomenon—the average one-bedroom in my neighbourhood costs twice as much. And yet, I found one on the internet, in beautiful condition and in a great location. I was not earning enough to meet the coop board’s income guidelines, but they approved me anyway. So I do think I was meant to live here.
Who is at home with you?
Residents include Minnie – a 15-year-old border collie/papillon mix – several death-defying houseplants and the occasional six-legged visitor.
Your favourite thing about the house and your biggest niggle about it…
My little apartment has lots of sun, a view of a very cool back-alley lined with carriage houses, and good vibes! People comment on how peaceful it feels.
Niggle-wise, I do not like that my place has no outdoor space. It’s on the sixth floor and could really use a balcony. If I want to relax outside, I have to take the elevator down and walk a few blocks west to the Brooklyn Heights Promenade or east to the park adjoining Brooklyn Borough Hall.
Where did you grow up?
In East Aurora, NY, a small village south of Buffalo. It has an actual Main Street with an actual five-and-dime, and a little movie theatre. Growing up, I enjoyed biking around the hills and farmland outside town, waitressing at the diner and drinking on the railroad tracks.
Did anything about your childhood home inspire your current home?
I grew up in a huge home with a giant yard bursting with beautiful trees and flowers—so apparently not!
How do you feel about household chores… are you a domestic goddess or a leave-it-to-the-morning kind of person?
I love all chores! After working at my desk for a few hours, it is a delight to do the dishes or sweep or scrub the sink while listening to a podcast. Without chores, I am nothing!
Book currently on your bedside table?
Ross Barkan’s Glass Century and Tony Tulathamutte’s Private Citizens.
Background noise in your house?
Living in a Brooklyn apartment building, it is never quiet. Ambient sounds include sirens, teens shouting on the street, the man across the hall constantly shouting, “Oh yeah!”; the opera singer across the way rehearsing for his next gig, a massive group bird chorus, and church bells.
Your favourite home from home?
My favorite second home is my inner world. It is vast and populated with all kinds of crazy creatures, and I can get there without leaving my apartment.
Read Anne’s newsletter, CAFÉ ANNE here.
TV STUFF
Babygirl, Amazon Prime
Very late to the party on this one, but goodness, I enjoyed it, I think. It’s very rude! Kind of made me both want to be married to Antonio Banderas and have an affair with an intern/Harris Dickinson, which I guess was Nicole Kidman’s predicament, too.
READING STUFF
I read two amazing pieces from Eva Wiseman this week. This one - about her sister’s leukaemia and the stem-cell donor who saved her and this one, about her friend who broke her pelvis on a solo hike in the desert and wasn’t rescued for four days. Gah.
LISTENING STUFF
I’ll leave you with the highbrow recommendation of Kerry Katona on the We Need to Talk podcast. It’s so long that it spans two episodes. I’m not ashamed (well maybe a bit ashamed) to say that I listened to all three hours of it. Loved it.
Better leave it there. Please hit like or leave a comment if you enjoyed this one! See you next week.
