I went and looked around Virgin Active the other day. It’s not just any Virgin Active though. This is their flagship. It’s even called Chiswick Riverside to show off.
It’s got everything. Reformer pilates is included. I mean, I’ve never done reformer pilates but I know it’s expensive.
It’s got tennis courts. Loads of them. They do candlelit yoga and sound baths; there are hair straighteners and ‘product’ in the changing rooms.
And now they’ve even got a co-working space so that you can basically live there if you’re freelance like me. The girl who showed me around took me to the café afterwards, handed over a free smoothie and asked if I’d like to join.
Obviously, I said yes. I could already see the new toned, glowing version of me gliding around the place with a tennis racket in Sweaty Betty leggings, newly glossy hair thanks to the Dyson Supersonic.
“It’s your lucky day,” she said. “We have a special offer!”
Would you like to know what that offer was?
£299 a month. No, not £29.99 which is the price of Pure gym, down the road from me. £299. Plus a £125 joining fee. That was the special offer.
I realise that posh gyms like this are for people who don’t actually like exercise. If I liked exercise I’d join Pure and just go and do squats or roll around on a ball in front of a mirror. Whatever gym people do. But I don’t like exercise. So I have to contend with obscene ‘lifestyle clubs’ who try to drug me with green juice before robbing me blind.
To make matters worse, I then got taken as a guest to The Hurlingham Club last weekend. In case you’re not familiar, this country club dates back to 1869 (actually so do many of its members, from what I could tell) and is set in 42 acres of tennis courts, cricket pitches, croquet lawns and botanical gardens in Fulham.
Stepping inside is honestly like entering another world. Virgin Riverside suddenly feels a bit embarrassing. A bit ‘leisure centre with delusions of grandeur.’ The Hurlingham is ridiculously beautiful. Rolling lawns, ornate fountains, a stately Georgian clubhouse at the centre. There was even a peacock in the car park, for God’s sake.
The irony is that it costs less than Virgin bloody Riverside to be a member, but it doesn’t matter, because they closed the waiting list about ten years ago. You basically need to be the child of an existing member to have any hope. Or marry into it, I suppose. Reader, I am available.
I did find this article which I liked, about sneaking in via reciprocal membership. But I’m not very Scottish, I don’t think. So I’m not sure what’s next. God forbid I have to start lifting weights in my living room. Please send help.
HOME COMFORTS WITH… JULIA HOLMES
I met Julia when we were both in our twenties working at a travel publishers in Shoreditch. She is permanently running marathons, but I forgive her, because she’s an all-round good egg and will usually say yes to another glass of wine. She now lives in Amsterdam and we miss her terribly.
Where do you live?
I live in Amsterdam Oost (East) in a one-bedroom apartment. I moved here in 2017. I was wrapping up a maternity cover job and struggling to find more opportunities. It definitely was not the old adage of "when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life". The Big Smoke still holds a huge place in my heart. But a friend sent me a role at a travel company based here and I tried my luck. I never in a million years thought I'd be packing my bags and becoming an Amsterdamer.
How did you find your current home?
It was actually my dad who found my current place on Funda, the Dutch equivalent to Rightmove, and he encouraged me to organise a viewing. The whole thing happened so quickly, I saw it in the morning, put a bid in at lunchtime, and had it accepted in the evening. The buying process happened at the start of the pandemic so it’s a blur of frantic phone calls, mortgage approvals being celebrated by my friend Jim bringing over toilet roll (what a time to be alive), and a socially distanced contract signing. The day I got the keys my friend Caro came over with bunting and bubbles to christen the apartment, but the whole time felt very surreal.
Who is at home with you?
It’s just me and a couple of very robust monstera plants.
Your favourite thing about the house and your biggest niggle about it!
The apartment is really modern, but the developers kept the original wrought iron pillars that hold up the building exposed in the living room, which I feel gives quite a cookie-cutter interior some personality. It’s subtly dramatic.
I also love my “art wall” in my bedroom, it’s an array of pictures from friends and family, as well as random discoveries and marathon medals. It makes me happy to sleep opposite it.
My niggle is that my apartment is north-facing, and the balcony is covered, so even in the summer it can be quite dark. Silver lining is that I am a huge fan of candle light!
Where did you grow up? Did anything about your childhood home inspire your current home?
I grew up in Ashby-de-la-Zouch in the Midlands, and I would say my parents' love of photography, art and literature inspire the way I’ve decorated my apartment. There’s not one surface that doesn’t have at least one picture frame on. My parents also gave me a bookshelf and Lloyd Loom chair from my childhood home, which I love for nostalgia.
What’s your current TV obsession?
Love is Blind UK. My boyfriend Wawa got me into “romantic” reality tv and I genuinely find the social experiment side of it super interesting. Especially watching together, you learn so much about a partner's values. I also love the drama too, people can be wild!
Best home comfort meal?
I love a plate of gyozas and broccoli with a glass of wine. It works for soaking up the sun on the balcony, as well as cosy winter evenings.
Book currently on your bedside table?
I just finished Coco Mellor’s Blue Sisters which was some of the most beautiful writing I’ve read in a long time, and now I’m onto my friend Andrew Nagy’s writing debut, his memoir titled The Battle for Newcastle United - which I’m finding truly hilarious, even though I am not particularly a football fan.
Background noise in your house?
I cannot function in silence so it’s either a relisten of the Sentimental in the City / Sentimental Garbage podcast, a friends mix on Spotify or I’ll stick a record on - currently it’s James Blake's Friends That Break Your Heart.
Have you ever lived elsewhere in the world (or country) - what was the most memorable thing about your home there?
My first apartment in Amsterdam was on the Albert Cuypstraat and in 1906 was owned by Mondrian. I loved this fact so much when I was living there, I’d sit by the gloriously big windows writing or listening to music and it made me feel like I was being creative by a very distant association.
Your favourite home from home?
It would be a tie between my parents' previous home on Anglesey, which looked out over the Snowdonia National Park, and Wawa’s apartment in Amsterdam West, which is very close to Vondelpark. Both places fill my heart with soft and cosy post-long run vibes.
Follow Julia’s life and loves here.
TV STUFF
Tommy: The Good. The Bad. The Fury, BBC iPlayer
Judge all you like, but if you need to switch off, may I recommend this rather dramatically-titled documentary about Tommy Fury. Say what you like, but ever since Love Island, I’ve thought he was sort of endearingly innocent. And those eyes! I know he’s not the smartest tool in the box, but God, I find him quite refreshing actually.
I also read some great stuff this week.
- Coren on everything you need to know for the new school term. Already prepared my Vomit Bucket and bought the Stikins.
Yes England is shite, but you probably shouldn’t leave. Thanks Jeremy Clarkson, I needed to read this.
- on the guilt of your kids’ summer memories mostly centering around holiday camp.
And I did a LOT of research into rugs after realising that mine was filthy thanks to my dog. I realise now that if you have pets, low pile or flatweave is the only way to go and ideally machine washable.
Ruggable - great but too expensive (see title of this newsletter)
Dunelm and Wayfair both have very decent options - I went with Wayfair. It was very, very cheap (£45) and you can sort of tell, but it’s serves the purpose and isn’t awful.
Ikea - of course.
I bought these loafers from H&M because I’m sick of wearing trainers and they were under £30. Love them.
“We were telling our friends how you kill your plants. They recommended this company.” Thanks, Dad. Anyway, Blooming Artificial looks pretty amazing actually, so I’m going to give it a whirl.
See you next time. As always, this week’s newsletter is free, next week’s will be for paid subscribers only. So if you haven’t upgraded yet, now’s the time!
I love the Virgin Riverside FOMO! Really made me laugh. you will not regret your vomit bucket prep 🙏🏻
Thank you for the mention 🙌🏻❤️