Miniature jams, matching socks, handwritten post and Rebecca Seal
Welcome to issue #8 of Nesting
Don’t let it be said that I haven’t used lockdown wisely; for this week I have allocated a new drawer strictly for new socks. This is because new socks are holy (and yet without holes) and should be treated differently to all other socks, which are inevitably odd and therefore do not spark joy. Wearing a pair of matching socks signifies a you that might even be wearing matching underwear. A new, better you. Which leads me nicely onto the theme of this newsletter: New Stuff.
Unlike New Year’s resolutions, which are boring, New Stuff is fun, frivolous and, crucially, doesn't require you to stop drinking. Obviously, there’s lots of New Stuff to choose from, but some New Stuff is more achievable than other New Stuff. Yes, there are new destinations, new seasons and new loves. But in the meantime, there are new sheets, new magazines, new recipes and new podcasts. All currently legal and lockdown-friendly. New notebooks, too. Entirely affordable and utterly thrilling. January is very much a new notebook month, in my mind.
And if we’re focusing on the small stuff, what about new jam? In an ideal world, I would only ever eat jam if it was served in one of the miniature glass pots you find at hotel buffets. See also ketchup and mayonnaise. Unblemished, virgin condiments. Pure joy.
New post, too, is wildly exciting. I’m talking handwritten stuff, obviously – a rare, but wonderful thing. If you want to cheer somebody up, forget emailing or texting, write them an actual card. Yes, the admin of going to a post box (despite having absolutely nowhere else to go) means it will be on your to-do list for weeks, and of course you’ve lost all your stamps, but it’ll be worth it. Post karma.
Then there is New Stuff that might seem bad, but is, on closer inspection, actually quite good. The idea of new music, for example, is quite unappealing – like when you go to a concert and the band announces they are going to play music from their new album. Annoying. But all music was new to us at some point and occasionally a song comes on the radio that grabs you straight away. Playing a new favourite song on repeat until you can’t stand it anymore is one of life’s great pleasures.
Finally, there is New Stuff that is not that frivolous and does actually require you to give up drinking. New babies. Mine, specifically. Rafferty: the best new thing to come out of 2020 since matching socks.
HOME COMFORTS WITH… REBECCA SEAL
Rebecca Seal recently released her book Solo: How to Work Alone (and Not Lose Your Mind), which was rather clever (although entirely accidental) timing-wise. She’s also written eight cookery books and regularly appears on Channel 4’s Sunday Brunch. I particularly love her Instagram page, where she shares lunch ideas for freelancers cooking for one. Think fish finger sandwiches in brioche buns, chickpeas on toast (with eggs on top) and spicy bean burgers. Yum.
Where do you live and how would you describe your home in three words?
I live in Forest Hill, London. My home is loud, loving and full.
Who is at home with you?
My husband Steve and two daughters: Isla Mae, who is five and Coralie, who is three.
Current TV obsession?
This year has pushed me even further away from wanting to watch hard-hitting dramas. I like the excellent Song Exploder series on Netflix, which is about well-known pop songs and how they came to be. Virgin River is also a lovely escape from the realities of now.
Best home comfort meal?
Roast chicken is one of the rare meals the whole family likes, and I never tire of cooking it. Given the chance, I always drift towards Levantine flavours, so you will usually find I’ve made a sumac butter to rub onto it, or stuffed it with garlic.
Book currently on your bedside table?
I’m reading Where the Crawdads Sing at the moment, but I’ve also started reading Tim Spector’s latest: Spoon Fed: Why Almost Everything We’ve Been Told About Food Is Wrong. I recently finished Underland by Robert Macfarlane, which is a brilliant non-fiction book about the world beneath the surface of the earth. My headphones are always on my bedside table too, as I use the Calm app to meditate myself to sleep.
Background noise in your house?
Oh, there’s so much noise here! It’s only quiet after about 8pm, when I feel the very walls breath a sigh of relief. My daughters almost never stop talking – they are relentlessly curious about the world. I love to listen to podcasts, but really that only happens when I go out running. I particularly love This American Life, Fortunately with Fi and Jane and The Happiness Lab with Laurie Santos.
Bath or shower?
Bath. I use lavender essential oils and epsom salts (top tip – putting them in a child’s bath is really good when they’re sleeping badly). I wash my hair with Ethique solid bar products.
How well do you know your next door neighbours?
Our whole street has become very neighbourly since lockdown and we feel extremely lucky to be part of the community. There’s a WhatsApp group now and people step in to help each other.
Your favourite home from home?
My friend Marian’s flat in Copenhagen, which is beautiful and warm and welcoming – she has a brilliant eye and it’s filled with her clever use of colour.
Solo: How to Work Alone (and Not Lose Your Mind) is available on Amazon.
SCROLLING STUFF
My friend Ginny who lives in Australia, where people still socialise in 3D, charitably told me about Window Swap which I have since become slightly obsessed with. It’s just a clickable reel of live streams from people’s windows across the world, but it’s weirdly meditative, especially now. I spent a good ten minutes looking out of Andrea’s window in San Francisco before heading over to Hanoi for some sunny respite in Linh’s garden.
PODCAST STUFF
Relatively - I love Jess Phillips and every time I hear her interviewed I love her a bit more. That was especially true after listening to her on the new Relatively podcast which examines sibling relations. She talks about trying to help her brother when he had a drug problem and in turn he discusses his worries about Jess navigating an increasingly fraught political world. Sounds heavy but they somehow make it light and even funny.
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Dear Joan and Jericha - A new series from my favourite faux agony aunts. Absolute filth – don’t even think about listening if you’re easily offended. They also have a book out, ‘Why he Turns Away; Do’s and Don’ts, from Dating to Death.’ This review on the Waterstone’s website made me laugh: “I bought this without knowing who they were, I obviously made an error and didn’t understand the ‘style’ of their ‘humour’ - I returned for a refund after reading about three pages.” You have been warned.
TV STUFF
I’ve struggled so hard to find anything decent on TV recently. So much so that the Real Housewives of Jersey and a daytime fix of Escape to the Country has started to feel like a treat. Bad times. That was until two friends recommended the black comedy Back to Life to me. It stars Daisy Haggard (she played the Hollywood TV exec in Episodes) as a thirty-something woman returning to her parents’ house in Kent after a 20 year stint in prison. It’s produced by the same team that made Fleabag – and if you liked that, chances are you’ll love this.
On that note, I’ve got one more episode to watch, so I must dash. Do drop me a line - I am at dominiqueafacan@gmail.com and on Instagram @dominiqueafacan. Until next time, happy Nesting New Year.
Dx
Who on earth is Dominique Afacan?
A very good question. Dominique (that’s me) is a writer, sausage dog owner, and solo mum, based in London. The idea for the Nesting newsletter came about because after ten years as a travel journalist, I wanted to share my new-found excitement about hanging out at home. I am also the author of Bolder – Life lessons from people older and wiser than you – a great birthday present, if I don’t say so myself – and available to buy here. You can follow me on Instagram here or Twitter here.
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