On a break with England, feng shui and home comforts from Dubai
The one where I am done with this country
If I were in a relationship with England, I’d have dumped it by now. So many red flags. And to be honest, as we traipse into what is surely our seventh consecutive month of winter, I am wondering why I don’t just pull the plug and run off with another country.
The weather is the biggest issue in our relationship. England goes for weeks without showing me even a glimpse of blue sky. In March, it threw hail directly into my face. What do I do when England exhibits this unseemly behaviour? I start to look up house prices in Singapore and I flirt with rental properties in the South of France. England might call it infidelity, I call it retaining my sanity.
And it’s not just the endless grey skies. England increasingly seems to want to make things harder. England charges me hundreds of pounds if I want to get the train anywhere. England says I am number 203 in the queue but that I am very important to it. England says I can have an appointment in 17 weeks. England is probably on strike. England just… doesn’t seem to work anymore?
So why are we still together? Well, England is clever. England somehow knows the second I’m about to walk away, and it does something to pull me back. It suddenly makes the sun shine, as it did (for a whole day) over Easter. It makes a bus come on time and then populates it with smiling people who help with a buggy. It makes the grass look extra green and it makes the blossoms extra pink when I pop to Kew Gardens. It makes a new David Attenborough documentary or it suddenly cracks a brilliant, cynical joke.
But this time… England has barely made any effort at all and as I sit listening to the rain hammering on my window for the fourth day (or is it month?) in a row, I wonder if it knows how close we are to breaking up, how my head is being turned by other lands. How sometimes I dream of divorce.
HOME COMFORTS WITH NICOLA CHILTON
Here is somebody who has the good sense to live somewhere sunny. Nicola Chilton is an old travel PR friend from my Hong Kong days, but she's since moved to Dubai and now writes about travel for the likes of Condé Nast Traveller, Departures and The Times.
Where do you live?
I live in Dubai, a place I never imagined myself calling home. I was transferred here (one might say kicking and screaming, only a slight exaggeration) from Bangkok for a previous job when I worked in hospitality. Eight years later I’m still here – and loving it. I rent a house in the Jumeirah neighbourhood, a residential area squeezed between the sea and the city skyline. I can see the Burj Khalifa from my garden.
Who is at home with you?
Just me and a cat at the moment – my partner, Georgios, is currently in Europe.
Current Netflix/Amazon obsession?
Maestro in Blue on Netflix. It’s set on the dreamy island of Paxos, the scenery is beautiful, the characters intriguing, the plot gripping, and it’s good language practice for me – I’m currently on a 339-day Greek streak on Duolingo and am really committed to keeping it up.
Best home comfort meal?
I’m a lazy cook if I’m on my own, which makes me very good at a fridge safari. I’m happy to graze on bits of cheese, tomatoes, anchovies, etc. When Georgios is here, we have big Greek weekend lunches in the garden – tzatziki, taramosalata, salads, saganaki and zucchini fritters. I lived in Asia for many years so if I’m feeling particularly inspired, I’ll chop up a load of veggies and tofu and stir-fry them with heaps of garlic, chili, soy sauce, oyster sauce and fish sauce.
Best section of the Sunday papers?
We don’t get the print editions of most of the Sunday papers here (and those that are imported are eye-wateringly expensive), so I tend to read mine online. The FT Weekend is my favourite in-print long read. I always skip the financial bits in favour of things like Lunch with the FT, book reviews, arts and gardening.
Book currently on your bedside table?
I have a 20-year-old first edition of the Lonely Planet guide to Libya as I always dream about places that currently aren’t possible to visit. My friend Alice gave me a brilliant book called Egypt and the Nile through Writers’ Eyes – including people like Alan Bennett, EM Forster and Naguib Mahfouz – which I keep going back to. I also have a book of short stories by Saudi writers and My Pen is the Wing of a Bird, a new collection of fiction by Afghan women.
Background noise in your house?
I love silence. Maybe it’s a symptom of working in hospitality communications for so many years with constant conversation and chatter, but now I love to be surrounded by silence. I think it’s one of life’s greatest luxuries. I write in silence, and I sleep with earplugs in, even though I live in a quiet neighbourhood (I also have a deaf cat who doesn’t realise how loud he’s meowing, so the earplugs help when he gets vocal in the night). In the cooler months I work outside in the garden and am surrounded by birdsong, which isn’t something you might expect in the middle of Dubai.
Bath or shower?
Shower, always. I like the idea of a bath, but find the reality quite boring. I immediately get restless and want to be doing something else. In terms of products, I can’t bear wasting hotel bathroom amenities so always bring them home with me if I’ve used them once. I also love the smell of Santorini Vine shower gel from Greek brand Korres. I discovered it on my first ever trip to Greece with Georgios, and the scent immediately transports me back to our room on the windy little island of Folegandros.
Favourite house scent?
Right now, my house is filled with the scent of the snapdragons that I picked at the flower farm in Ras Al Khaimah a few days back, but I also love the scent of Fleur d’Oranger room diffuser from Fragonard. I find there’s something intoxicating about the fragrance of orange blossom.
My garden is….
… my sanctuary. Most people think that Dubai is always terribly hot, but that’s actually not the case. For much of the year the weather is delightful, and I move my life outside to the garden. I write in the shade of a frangipani tree, I have friends over for drinks, I lounge in my hammock. It’s gorgeous right now – this is the best time of year. Everything is flowering – the bougainvillea, the desert roses, the ixora bushes. A sunbird has woven a messy nest under the pergola so I’m looking forward to baby birds emerging soon. In another few weeks it will be too hot to enjoy it, so I’m grasping every moment I can.
How well do you know your next door neighbours?
Hardly at all, to be honest. It seems to be a peculiarity of living here that no one really socialises with their neighbours. We’ll say hello and exchange pleasantries, but that’s about it. Maybe I should start a neighbourhood revolution of smiling and chatting.
Your favourite home from home?
That’s a tough one. I’ve lived in so many places (Mexico, Japan, Hong Kong, Thailand) and they’ve all been home at one point. “Real” home for me is Yorkshire, and there’s nothing cosier than sitting with my parents in the conservatory with the fire going on a cold winter night.
Follow Nicola’s travel adventures @nicolachilton
TV STUFF
A Very British Cult
I love a cult documentary - and this new BBC one is excellent. It tells the tale of a ‘life coaching’ organisation called Lighthouse and the millions of pounds it took from the members who joined. Many of them, like Jeff Leigh-Jones (pictured), are now willing to talk about their ordeal on camera and it all just goes to show how seemingly ‘normal’ people can be sucked in by a cult’s tactics. Happily, Lighthouse was shut down in March but I did find this website by the founder, Paul Waugh, who has hit back with his own documentary series, A Very British Broadcasting Cult.
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Pamela: A Love Story
Whatever I thought Pamela Anderson was going to be like, it wasn't this. This Netflix documentary follows her to her lakeside home in Canada where she now lives, and goes through her backstory via old diaries and home videos. Everything is up for candid discussion - from her extraordinary discovery on the jumbotron camera at a football game to that sex tape with Tommy Lee. The word ‘authentic’ is overused these days, but it really does feel refreshing to see a documentary about a ‘blonde bombshell’ without that bombshell wearing makeup or seeming to give much importance to her appearance at all.
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Stacey Dooley Sleeps Over
How the BBC hadn’t recommended this to me already I do not know. So up my street. I started every episode full of judgement - and usually was proved wrong after about ten minutes. From polygamists to cage-fighting teens, landed gentry and mormons - every episode is eye-opening and perspective-changing. I loved it.
PODCAST STUFF
Changes with Sophie Morgan
At age 18, having just picked up her A level results – Sophie Morgan headed out to a party. In the early hours of the next morning, on her way home, she crashed her car and was left paralysed from the waist down. Her life since has been markedly different to the one she was looking forward to as a teenager on the cusp of adult life, but she’s an unstoppable force who has used her disability as motivation and become one of the first female television presenters in the world with a physical disability. Her interview here with Annie MacManus will move you and inspire you in equal measure. Her new book – Driving Forwards – is next on my list.
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Table Manners with P!nk
Table Manners is always a favourite podcast of mine, mostly for the lovely, warm mother-daughter chatter between Jessie and Lennie Ware as they prepare a home-cooked meal for their weekly guest. There’s something so improbable about global superstar P!nk going for a family dinner in Clapham that made this episode extra enjoyable, plus she is great company. I loved hearing how she gets mistaken for Gwen Stefani and also appreciated her slightly crazy anecdote about a visit to an Australian psychic.
OTHER STUFF
Comfort food
One thing that makes me feel better during England’s eternal winter is cooking and for that, I have been turning to Rosie Birkett’s excellent new newsletter. The ‘banging beef stir fry’ and the ‘warming soup’ have both been road-tested by yours truly and next I’m going to try this ‘wild garlic-stuffed conchiglioni.’
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Feng Shui
I’ve recently been walking around my house holding a compass in the palm of my hand like a mad woman thanks to my new obsession with feng shui. It’s all down to my friend Kimberley Gallagher who has retrained as a modern day feng shui consultant. If you haven’t caught her giving the feng shui lowdown on This Morning, have a listen to her podcast - you’ll be burning sage before you know it.
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Finally, if you’d like a laugh (and you’ve watched White Lotus) I found this TikTok theme tune reel completely hilarious.
Who on earth is Dominique Afacan?
A very good question. Dominique (that’s me) is a writer, solo mum and sausage dog slave based in London. The idea for the Nesting newsletter came about because after ten years as a travel journalist, I wanted to share my new-found excitement about hanging out at home. I am also the author of Bolder – Life lessons from people older and wiser than you – a great birthday present, if I don’t say so myself – and available to buy here.
P.S The illustration for Nesting was created by my exceptionally talented friend Julia Murray in New Zealand.