Ten things you wanted to know about solo parenting but didn't dare ask
Donor sperm and doing things differently, plus Issy von Simson's home comforts and some rather good chicken soup.
I was at a kid’s birthday party last weekend (again) and another mum watching my four year-old on the bouncy castle asked, “Is your husband tall, too?” I explained that I didn’t have a husband and I had actually used donor sperm to conceive my two children. I could tell that she wanted to ask more – but I think sometimes people worry that it might seem rude. So I am here to say – ask the questions! I love talking about it and I think the more we can talk about unconventional families the better. Here’s a starter for ten.
How on earth did it come to this – you’re not that ugly/boring/insane – or are you? I didn’t meet anyone that I wanted to have kids with at the right age. That’s it. It was not because I didn’t ever get male attention or to quote Bridget Jones that, “underneath my clothes I am covered in scales.”
What did your parents think? By the time I started to consider it, aged 38, my mum was thrilled. She knew I wanted to have a baby and she didn’t want me to miss out. My Dad, a bit of a traditional Turk, took a little more time to get used to it, but it didn’t take long for him to become my biggest supporter.
What did YOU think? This is probably a more relevant question, since I wrestled with the idea a lot. It’s always difficult to do something ‘other’ to your peers and I think the ‘otherness’ was what bothered me the most before I started the process. Now I revel in it – and my worries have been replaced by more sensible things like how to deal with not having a second income or who I can call when I have norovirus.
How did you chose the donor?