The anxiety.
Plus, Soho Farmhouse, things to buy and what it's like to live in Monaco.
I’ve been getting a really bad headache on and off for four weeks now. ChatGPT thinks it’s tension but naturally I think it’s something much more sinister. I won’t find out for a while, since I can’t get a doctor’s appointment for three weeks. I might be dead by then.
Anyway. I went on a tension-relieving weekend away with the girls and discovered we are all suffering with the same affliction: anxiety. Middle-of-the night catastrophising. Middle-of-the-day panicking. Do we all need to go on HRT, we wondered, or is life just more stressful these days?
We decided the best thing for it was to start drinking at 3pm and not stop until 2am. We went for dinner at Soho Farmhouse, where the appearance of Posh and Becks at a nearby table got us all so excited that we ordered a round of celebratory Espresso Martinis. Those led to us being so wired that we were still in the mood for a party when we returned to the hotel.
There was a wedding to gatecrash, but it wasn’t very good – so we retired for a room party instead. I don’t remember anything else – apart from vaping a lot and then waking at 3am to throw up.
It is really rather shameful behaviour for a 45 year-old. But my parents were looking after my kids, so I have to take an opportunity when it presents itself. And it was nice not to be worrying about anything for a full, inebriated 12 hours.
The following day was spent googling ‘brain tumour symptoms’ and ‘world war three?’ and wondering how soon I could go to bed.
Even hangover-free, a few days later, the whack-a-mole anxiety is still there. No sooner have I resolved one thing in my brain, something else pops up. It’s exhausting.
So tell me, is this life now? Or is it midlife? How do you cope? Send help!
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COTSWOLDS STUFF
SOHO FARMHOUSE
It was my first time at Soho Farmhouse this weekend. After our drunken Posh and Becks encounter, I returned the next morning for a swim and a steam to try to justify my ridiculous membership. I loved it by night but I am not sure about it by day. It all feels a bit dystopian and Truman Show-ish. The pool is nice (specifically eavesdropping on conversations in the pool which are every bit as cliched as you’d hope) but the unisex changing rooms are weird and it all feels a bit dark. I’ll be back though, coz I discovered there’s a kids’ club you can use for four hours a day if you’re staying overnight.
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DIDDLY SQUAT FARM SHOP
I enjoyed watching Clarkson’s Farm, and we were only ten minutes down the road from his farm shop, so I did pay a quick visit on my way home. I hadn’t realised how literal the name was - it was just a shack with a load of overpriced, branded food and horrible loos. And a very full car park full of tourists (like me). The joke’s on us, I guess. Next time I’d go to his pub instead.
HOME COMFORTS WITH… ALEXANDRA GROOM
I met Alexandra back in my luxury travel journalism days (on a boat in St Barths somewhere I think - sigh). She still works in the industry – specialising in global yacht charters and adventure expeditions at Pelorus. Have a look if you want to feel really very much like you want to win the lottery. Over to you, Alex!
Where do you live and how long have you lived there for?
I live in Monaco, and I’ve lived here my whole life bar a few years of my 20s and early 30s spent in London. I went to boarding school in the UK at the age of 10 and stayed there for uni as well, so I’ve spent many years not spending a lot of time at “home”, but Monaco has always been where I would consider it. I’ve lived in my current flat only a couple of months.
How did you find your home?
I live in a rented apartment in Monaco, and I’d say the majority of people here rent, so the process of finding a place is utterly soul destroying. Very few good properties come up for rent, because once you’re in a good one you hang on to it like your life depends on it, and so you have to pounce when they do. I absolutely love where we are now, so I’ll be staying here a while!
Who is at home with you? (include pets!)
My amazing husband and our 2-year-old working cocker, Galahad.
Your favourite thing about the house and your biggest niggle about it!
I love many things about the flat, but the best thing has to be the balcony and the view. We look over the treetops of the Casino gardens and out to sea which is lovely, seeing so much greenery and seascape is such a bonus in a busy city. The balcony is surprisingly spacious and covered by the floor above, so very protected from the elements and we can spend most of the year hanging out and having meals out there. It’s currently February and I just had lunch out there!
Biggest niggle would have to be a very standard one in Monaco, and that’s just internal volume. Nothing is very big here and you get used to it pretty quickly, but it would be nice to have space for both a washer AND a dryer! I’m very grateful they make combo machines these days…
Where did you grow up? Did anything about your childhood home inspire your current home?
I grew up about a 7-minute walk down the road, but you could walk the whole length of the country in about 30 minutes so that’s not saying much! I don’t know if I benefit from inspiration as much as acclimatisation when it comes to my childhood home, as I am very comfortable with apartment living and am one of those people who prefers city noise and bustle over the quiet of the countryside.
In the past I’ve found I’ve jumped at every noise in the night when in a rural country house, but can sleep through any number of 3am sirens in London or New York! I also once famously slept through a fire alarm in my university halls, and I’m sure that was mainly down to acculturation and nothing to do with the local nightclub’s libations.
How do you feel about household chores… are you a domestic goddess or a leave-it-to-the-morning kind of person?
I definitely used to be an “I’ll get round to it” type, but somehow I married the world’s tidiest man, so I’ve had to adjust! Now I’ve been so influenced (or is it Pavlov-ed?) that I actually can’t relax and enjoy dinner until all the pans and chopping boards are in the dishwasher and the kitchen is tidy. I hate admitting to being wrong (Capricorn), but I have to accept that cleaning up as you go is actually a game changer.
What’s your current TV obsession?
High Potential is very entertaining, and I hope they make another season of Dept Q as we binged that in record time. My husband and I are also unashamedly obsessed with Aussie Gold Hunters, and I often daydream of planning a trip out there to fossick for gold ourselves. When alone I will turn straight to Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, The Kardashians or, depending on how much I value my sleep that particular night, a true crime documentary. The weirder the better.
Book currently on your bedside table?
Just bought at the airport 2 days ago (I spend a lot of time at airports) and not yet started: The Lonely Skier. It was an impulse buy – the blurb was right up my street! I read English Literature at uni and I think that probably still influences a lot of my book choices today, I lean towards the classics more often than not. I absolutely loved my degree and ended up going down quite a medieval route. My dog’s name is probably a giveaway there!
I’ve also bought but haven’t yet plucked up the courage to start The Unexpected by Emily Oster. I’ve recently suffered two miscarriages in five months which has been tough to navigate, and I loved Expecting Better when I was first pregnant, so I’m hoping this next instalment also brings some comfort and advice.
Background noise in your house?
Neighbours: tick. General city noise: tick. True crime podcasts: double tick. On the constant rotation are British Scandal, Red Handed and The Spy Who.
My garden is….
A 10 square meter balcony. Spacious, nothing for me to inadvertently kill by forgetting to water, comfy sofa, dining area, great view: I love it.
Have you ever lived elsewhere in the world (or country) - what was the most memorable thing about your home there?
I spent my gap year in New Zealand, doing lots of regatta sailing and crewing on various boats. To this day it’s still my favourite country in the world, I would live there in a heartbeat. I lived in a few different houses with different people, but one of my favourite memories of them all was how set up for socialising they all were. We were constantly hosting or being hosted, and I loved how easy and natural it felt, I don’t think we’re built for isolation. I still love being the house that hosts, when my husband and I are in our house in London we’re always the after-party house.
Your favourite home from home?
I’m an only child, so I really gravitate to places where I get to spend time with my wider family. I have an aunt and uncle in St Barths and another aunt and uncle who live in Wiltshire, and I really love spending time with them and my cousins. The best homes are the ones that make you feel really comfortable, where you feel like everyone is happy to be there together and it’s full of laughter. Houses can be optically completely different, but make you feel the same sort of happiness when you’re there.
Right. Sun is out, sky is blue. I hope today has been a good day folks. Let’s chat next week!
P.S
🧥 - Zara trench/parka, as recommended by my most stylish friend.
🗞️ - Have you heard about looksmaxxing? Dear God.